Trifecta Challenge: Week Ninety-Three/ Drown

Trifecta: Week Ninety-Three
Welcome Trifectans to another Trifecta Week. This week I'm killing two birds with one stone by adding the prompt word to my Web Serial Debt. If you would like to catch up on Debt please follow the link 
I hope you will enjoy Drown.

GRACE (noun)
 of youth — John Buchan>
c : ease and suppleness of movement or bearing
Debt/ Drown

 They was up near the road, the women. I didn’t know most of them, excepting Mrs. White and Mary Washington. Mama say they ‘run they mouths,’ whatever that means. 
 
I was watchin' the men folk wurk, throwing water on the fire. Every time that water hit it’ll howl something furious. The heat getting the better of Ole Pete, I’s seen he'd done took off his shirt. The sweat was rolling down his back like he'd gone a swimmin', thick muscles straining against the heavy buckets of water.
  I heard the women call Ole Pete good-looking; some said he got grace. I ain't know what they meant, cause them men were wurkin’ hard again that fire, besides I ain’t noticed much, but Billy and all that water.
 
 I couldn't help but remembering what he'd told me in the kitchen. How Ole Pete found him on the river bed chained with a thick rope round his neck. He'd say, " Ole Pete said I's been beat bad and near drown when he found me."
 
"You known who done it?" I'd wanted to ask but Billy hung his head talking to his feet. "I don't rightly know what happen." He shook his head. "Alls I know is that I had to get that there rope from around my neck."
 
 He was quiet so long I thought he weren't goin' never say nothin' again, but then he looked up at me, his brown eyes drowning in tears. “I’s remember saying, I rather drown than hung."
I’d seen the scars clear around his neck and wrist, but I's ain't said nothing. Moma always told me that ain't no reason to talk about a bird singing in the tree, we’s all hears it.
 
He looked like he was about to say somethin’ more but just stood to leave. “I’s best be gettin' back Syreeta."

 I stares at him now, wurkin' hard to keep up with them grown men, thinking about those scars. I wondered if they still hurt.


Copyright © 2013 Glynis Rankin

21 comments:

  1. Wow!Love the way you incorporated this old language-I don't know what it is called though but have read it in some old classics!Interesting to know what that lad had to face that made him feel that drowning was better than hanging.

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    1. Thank you Atreyee!
      The dialect is broken English that originated from the Southern regions during the 1800's

      I will add more information about his story in later post
      So glad you enjoyed this

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  2. Nice work with the dialect. By their speech, I surmised the time period was during the slave era.

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    1. Thanks Janna

      It's set in 1906 the year of my grandmother's birth. The story is loosely based on my great grandmother's life in the rural south.

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  4. The dialect is new to me. I will wait for more.

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    1. Thank you yarnspinnerr. I will have more coming.

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  5. Interesting and new dialect for me too, enjoyed reading something different!

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    1. Thank you theinnerzone
      Glad it was different for you, I hope in a good way.

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  6. Nice first person story telling. The period language paints the canvas richly.

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    1. Thank you Ben for such a lovely comment.

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  7. Glynis, This is such a rich and emotionally stirring piece-and my heart is breaking!

    "He was quiet so long I thought he weren't goin' never say nothin' again, but then he looked up at me, his brown eyes drowning in tears. “I’s remember saying, I rather drown than hung."

    I hope you write more of your grandmother's and great grandmother's stories. I think anyone who reads them will be better for it:)

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  8. Interesting piece, incorporating the dialect. It's cool.

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  9. Excellent. I love a successful use of dialect in a story. It works so well here to provide atmosphere.

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  10. Great job with the dialect. It rings true.

    One note: A couple times in the story you use the word "scares." Did you mean "scars?"

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    1. Thank you Ivy for reading this and catching that.

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